Photo courtesy of the Galvin group. Rockin’ graphic, guys.

A couple of weeks ago (see, I’m catching up from all of those weeks of not posting), the four of us were sitting and relaxing before bed.  Simon and I had a big day of shopping, ending with a trip to IKEA.  Yay!  This was a particularly eventful trip, as I learned a LOT about my child.

There was a lot of conversation during a long day of driving, much of it about Simon’s preschool class and his future.  He told Athenoula and me about his girlfriend earlier in the day and how she was nice and planned to grow up to be a construction worker.  It was all very important.  On the way home, after some prodding from Athenoula that he should drive us home, because it was about time he learned to drive so he wouldn’t have to live with me his whole life, and so he could drive his girlfriend to the movies, Simon dropped this bomb on us: “Mom, I have a secret.  I have TWO girlfriends.”

He totally felt guilty.  He was so quiet and almost whispering when sharing that bit of information.

“Really? That’s so nice.  You are all friends.” Of course, I was trying to play it off.  He was four, after all.

“No.  They don’t know about each other.  They would both get mad if the other one knew.”

This was where I started giggling, because I am a very mature 35 year old.  Athenoula, on the other hand, was trying to be all moral and try to help Simon understand that this was NOT good, and not fair to either girl (even though the one declared herself his girlfriend without asking for his agreement) and how Simon needed to figure out a way to pick just one and let the other one down nicely.

Keep in mind that I was hyperventilating in the front seat from laughter.

Athenoula said, “Ok, Simon.  We know what Girlfriend A is going to be when she grows up, because we talked about it earlier.  What about Girlfriend B?”

To which Simon replied with no hesitation, “She’s going to be a key carver.”

And I was done.  I was choking and coughing and almost wet myself.  I told you, I’m a great mom.  Conversation over.  He couldn’t even open his mouth on the rest of the drive home, because every time he did, I lost it.

So we got home, and I immediately ran it to tell Mike about it, of course.  Who then responded with [deadpan], “Well, he should obviously pick the one who can build the whole house instead of the one who is going to work behind the service desk at the hardware store.”

Which got me thinking.  What about if Girlfriend B did MORE than that?  What if she wanted to open a business?  What if she moved to the city and became the owner of “KEYosk”, the corner kiosk that carved your key while you ate your pretzel or hot dog?  She could TOTALLY be successful!  And what about if she expanded to the Middle East and called it “KEY-OSQUE” – I mean, it COULD WORK.  So, maybe the joke would be on me.  This four year old girl, my potential daughter-in-law, needs me to mentor her.  Clearly.

And then Simon won.  As usual.

“MOM.  You’re wrong!  She can go work at IKEA! I-KEY-A, get it?  Ha ha!”