Simon FINALLY told me this morning that his “phone” is not real.  He has been talking about his cell phone for weeks.  To us, to other people, to anyone who would listen.  This phone has magical powers, it warns him when vampires are coming to get people, it helps him be a ninja, etc.  On the way to preschool this morning, we were listening to Hits 1, as we always do and Flo-Rida, “Good Feeling” came on.  Awesome song.  He told me that this was his phone’s ringtone, so he got confused because he thought his phone was ringing.

“Well, you’d better answer it, Simon,” I said, “it could be an important call.”

“Um, mom?  You know my phone’s not real, right?”

Ha.  How do you even respond.  The kid thinks he is smarter than me.  I LOVE IT.

That was how our morning began.  And THIS is how our evening ended last night:

“Mom, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Simon, um, actually, I am already a grown up.”

“WHAT?!  You ARE?” [Insert horrified expression here]

“Yes, and you know I work at the college.”

“No, you GO to college.”

“No, I don’t. I work there.” [Horror changes to confusion]

“Ok, Simon, what do YOU want to be when you grow up?”

“A ninja.”

“And how will you make money doing that so you can buy all the things you want?”

“I will open my own dojo…in our house…where I will still be living.”

[Insert MY horrific expression here]

“Oh and I will have num…mum…mumchucks…those chain things.”

Of course he will.