Simon informed me several times over this past week that I embarrass him. Mind you, he just turned five. He is in a world of hurt if I am embarrassing him from now! Yikes. Below are the top two ways I embarrassed him this week, followed, most importantly, by my rebuttal and sweetly served justice.

1. Simon does not like it when I cut up his strawberries for his lunch. I told him that when he grows up and makes lots of money, he might want to hire a personal chef who he will pay LOTS of money to for that very service. He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders at me. So, for tomorrow’s lunch, I did what every good mom would do. I cut up the strawberries into even smaller Leo-sized pieces. Ha! Take that! I am awesome.

2. Simon does not like to wear his pajamas outside of the house, even if the only place he will be is in the car. We were driving to my parents’ house on Saturday, where we were staying the night before Mike’s marathon, since he was getting to the starting line at 6:30am. It was about 7pm or so when we decided to pack up the car and drive up. The boys were going to be awake for, OH, an HOUR after they got out of the car? So we dressed them (or tried to) in their pajamas before we left home, which would result in one less thing to do when we got there. But Simon threw a FIT. A FIT!

“Mom! I can’t walk out of the house in my pajamas! What if someone sees me?!”

Uh, really? You’re five. Why would you care about that? And who, exactly, are you going to see IN OUR CAR? I thought so. Pajamas it is. YES. Small victories, people. That’s all I get anymore.

However, the best thing happened, to make me feel better about all of this. Simon had a “wacky water day” at school, where they all run through sprinklers and get sprayed by the hose. Yes, I want to be five again, too. I KNOW. So much better than an office, and voice mail, and even, dare I say, a Facebook page? (gasp)

So, Simon wanted NOTHING to do with this last wacky water day. Nothing. So we did not pack wet clothes for him. In fact, he just went to school in his shorts, t-shirt, and sneakers. A couple of hours before the end of the day, the Director from the day care/preschool IM’d me (we are SO technologically advanced) to let me know how much FUN Simon had getting wet! “He was soaked,” she said. “And don’t worry, we found center clothes for him to wear, if you don’t care.”

I definitely didn’t care, as long as he had fun. And then I REALLY didn’t care when I pulled up at 5pm and Simon was wearing girl pants and flowered flip flops because that’s all they had that would fit him. Ha. Hee, hee…and wouldn’t you know? I asked him if he was embarrassed by his girl clothes. I laughed at him. Whatever. Don’t judge me. You would have laughed, too, at the sweet justice you received.

“Huh?!”

YES. I will ALWAYS win. Until he’s ten, maybe.