The Infomercial Savant

I will use this page, separate from the rest of the blog, as a running list of Simon’s favorite infomercial products.  America, he’s your MAN.  He wants all the wares you peddle.  He is the ULTIMATE CONSUMER.

For each of the products I list below, the child has memorized (yes, MEMORIZED) the commercial script and comes to us with his own personal sales pitch, using the catchphrases.  Oh, you think I’m kidding?  Exaggerating, perhaps?  Next time, I’ll post a video. You’ll see.


We had to get the gyro bowl.  The commercial shows kids running and jumping and rolling around all while holding the miraculous snack holder that  “spins and spins and stuff stays in.”  He got one for his birthday.

Simon = 1, Mom = 0


The space saving organizer!  He told me we *have* to get one of these to organize our spices.  It did not matter that I walked him to our kitchen to show him our actual spice rack, with it’s own dedicated cabinet.  No, because the one we have is BIGGER than a cereal box, where this thing is the same size.  I appreciate his minimalist aesthetic that he gets from his father, I really do.  But no.  No swivel store.  He will NOT get one.

Simon = 1, Mom = 1


“Mommy, our cats NEED this.”  It’s fast and it’s easy.  And you know what?  If Simon actually started to clean the litter box, I would consider buying it.  But only if he took over litter duty.  Until then, no.


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